Rising Star Part Deuce

That night, it was very difficult for me to sleep. The hotel shuts the air off in the entire building from 2am-5am, and that in combo with my hot flashes really makes it difficult to get comfortable. At one point, our entire floor had NO air at all and they upgraded us to a suite for 3 days until it was fixed. I think we've changed rooms a total of 5 times now because of this air situation. The manager felt so bad for me and was almost in tears that we had to keep moving. All has been resolved now....so to get back on track, I was tossing and turning all night. There were these mathematical equations that kept coming into my head for what seemed like hours as if these formulations were being created as part of my healing. As I was going in and out of sleep I would go from one set of equations to the next, and lay on my back with my palms up so each part of the healing could take place. I felt like I was working on this the entire night and couldn't relax and let my mind settle. Finally, at some point I must have fallen into a deep sleep because the next thing I remember is waking up to someone sitting down on my bed next to me. This was a very peaceful and loving man dressed in a white and green robe with some sort of spiritual symbol on his chest. He placed his hands on the top of my head and began chanting "ba-ba-ba-ba-ya-ni" over and over. I repeated it with him and we said it several times together. In my mind, I was trying to do this really quietly so I wouldn't wake my mom up. I felt my lips start to move and whisper this beautiful mantra out loud. At that point the man kissed me on my forehead and disappeared. I was filled with so much excitement and love and felt so honored that this wonderful being had revealed himself to me! I couldn't wait to write the experience down and tell my mom so I wouldn't forget. I quickly tried to grab my journal and pen on the nightstand in which I knocked over and was sure I had awakened my mom. The thought of that woke me up for real and I grabbed my journal and pen to write the mantra down. I then woke my mom up and told her I just had a visitation!

I could hardly contain myself. I looked at the clock and it was 5:00 in the morning which would have made it 1:00PM in Cali. Mike would have been at work, so I couldn't call him, and I didn't want to call John and wake him up, so I went straight to my laptop to find out what the hell "ba-ba-ba-ba-ya-ni" meant! I knew this was a mantra so that's what I searched first. I found some interesting leads, but couldn't find a solid definition. I didn't even know what language this was! A couple hours after exhausting my resources, I was able to talk with John about my experience. I told him about the mantra and he thought about it for awhile and said calmly "Well, I know "baba" means father, why don't you google Sanskrit to find out what "ya-ni" is?" Then he called later and asked "Are you sure it wasn't "ag-ni", because that would mean fire and they sound extremely similar!? I thought about it for a second and said "Yes! Yes!! That's what it was! (I have a habit of changing song lyrics all the time to what I think I hear...) So we came to the conclusion that the mantra given to me was "baba baba agni," which in Hindu means "Father, Father ignite the fire."

I was floored! Did this really just happen?! Did my dream actually have this profound a meaning?! Its been about 3 days now and I can't stop thinking about this! I want him to come back...I want more information and guidance! Then John reminded me that its never gonna happen that way. The act of me wanting it to happen again will just create more wanting that is never fulfilled. (Damn, I always forget that.)

So, that day after having a great conversation with Mike and some friends on Skype, I went to my appointment to get more stem cells extracted. I believe this will be my last stem cell extraction before I go home. Whoop whoop! Thank goodness because this last one was a doozy! They inserted a very large IV needle into a very small vein in my hand which was painful. The vein was not pumping enough blood so they had to go to another vein and start all over. The next attempt was made on a vein in my inner arm that had built up some scar tissue. OUCH! The machine tried and tried to work, but couldn't pull the blood out. They kept the IV in, but also tried another vein. Whoops, didn't get that one in right, so they kept going on the other one. Then they realized that there was a blood clot that needed to be cleared. That finally did it, and the machine started working. Ooo, was I sweatin' and repeating that mantra over and over again! The nurses felt so awful. I had about 5 people in there working on this. They brought me tissue for my tears, blankets to hold and one nurse even held and massaged my hand the entire time. They are so sweet and compassionate. They are like little angels running around doing all this work with love in their hearts. Even though it was stressful and uncomfortable, I felt very safe and knew I was in good hands. Also, I knew I had the strength to get through it. That's the good thing about going through adversity.....you become one bad ass biotch! Except, that night I got a little scared for some reason. I think I was afraid I'd see dead people in the mirror or something. So I couldn't sleep again....just tossed and turned the whole night.

My mom ended up getting a healing also before John left and she has been having experiences of her own. She hasn't had a visitation or anything, but her awareness is very keen and her intuition is heightened. John said that visitations like mine are very rare and have only happened to him a few times in his life. That makes me feel even more honored! He also said to be aware of emotions being released, and flu-like symptoms possibly occurring throughout the next week or so. I've felt very energized and strong in spirit these past couple days actually. My mom and I went to another Buddist Temple yesterday and then shopping....it was great! We found a vegetarian restaurant that turned out to be our best meal since we've been here! SO good! Then we had a little treat from Baskin Robbins and went home.

Who would have thought that coming to Korea for cancer treatment could be so enjoyable? (not saying that its been a cake walk, I just choose not to write about the difficulties too often) But, what a fascinating and amazing experience this has been! Father, father has indeed ignited the fire! I am so motivated to move to a new level of awareness and be the change I wish to see in the world! I am thankful for my healing on all levels and can't wait to live a new and improved life! I believe that my journey is just beginning and my purpose is being revealed to me little by little. As long as I put God first, I know I'll be on the right path. We have about 10 days left here in Korea and I'm so anxious to get my CT scans and X-rays done so we can see that there is NO cancer left in my body! What a day that will be...and believe me, you'll be the first to know!

Love and Gratitude to all,
Trysh