To my Dear friends and beautiful family,
I'm unsure of where to begin. So much has happened in my life as of late...so many ups, so many downs. Funny, I'm listening to a CD for the first time my friend Angie made and guess what song came up? "Don't Worry, Be Happy." So crazy how quickly God works through his earth angels! Thank you Angie...I'm gonna let that message set the tone for my blog. LOTS to worry about in my life, as I know everyone has been feeling during this universal shift. I think we have a tendency to become selfish, thinking "I'm the only one going through hard times...NOBODY can possibly understand." I know that's how I've been feeling lately and that's precisely when I close myself off from the world. However, I am understanding how unproductive that can be. If I can just "Be Happy" and go with the flow, I will be just fine. Easier said than done, I know, when something like cancer is involved. But for now, time to catch you up on my crazy journey....
August 2009, I went through 2 major surgeries to eliminate cancerous bone lesions and stabilize the bones. I stopped dancing, moved back home with my parents, and spent the following 9 months healing. Then in March 2010, we discovered I had a collapsed vertabrae above the spine fusion. Most likely the collapse was due to old cancer that had weakened the bone. This is when I began to close myself off again and go into "silent warrior" mode. A couple days before Easter, I was forced to put my ego in check and decided on another spine fusion to repair the damaged vertabrae and get out of pain. My holistic treatments had been working in every other area of my being, but this stubborn old, tired ass cancer in the vertabrae, had snuck away from me. Thank goodness I heal so well from surgeries and this last one was no exception. :)
May 5-10, I had radiation to the surgery area as well as the base of my skull. The cancer was now jumpin around and getting out of control. Its been a couple weeks since radiation, the side effects are beginning to subside, but now I have been having pretty bad pain in my neck area. I would like to say that I'm not panicking, but that would be a lie. Fortunately, God has reunited us with the incredible Rushing family who have helped us tremendously these past few months. They offered to sell us their uncle's hyperbaric chamber for a fraction of the cost! We graciously accepted and I have been using it every day. It has been doing wonders to combat radiation side effects, increase energy, and help eliminate pain. Oxygen therapy was one of the MAIN reasons I was going to move to Sedona and now I am able to do some miraculous healing in my own home. SO Thankful!
However, finances are starting to get tight. I have exhausted my disability benefits, the pain will not allow me to work, and I am beginning to get scared. I have applied for social security disability which is pending...(please cross your fingers for me) but other than that, I am at a loss on what to do next. I am beyond grateful to my parents for a beautiful place to live, food on the table, and the remainder of my bills paid. We are all very stressed though, and unsure of the future. My parents are working their asses off for me, trying to make ends meet and everyone is a little on edge. "When is this all going to end?" we keep thinking. I am really frusterated because I have lost a great deal of my independence and I'm at a loss on how to help us. If anyone knows any other financial aide programs out there or organizations that help with food, gas, etc..please let us know! In the meantime, my job is "Don't Worry, Be Happy...the best I can. I am still very optimistic and am getting stronger every day. I have so many amazing things in my life to be grateful for, and reasons to keep fighting. I have more good days, than bad and I always keep a positive attitude and a smile on my face. Life is too beautiful to give up on...especially now. I am grateful, I am humble, I am blessed.
For those of you who didn't know my amazing cousin Kevin, he too had an incredible 7 year bout with brain cancer that took his life this past August. His family has set up a beautiful website in his honor which celebrates his motto in life, "Don't Worry, Be Happy" of course! They have generously given me the opportunity to receive a portion of their DWBH T-shirt sales on the site. If you get a chance, please check out www.dwbhshirts.com
Thank you for your continued support, Angels. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! <3 T
