On December 22, 2006, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. As a professional dancer for over 15 years, I have always lived a healthy and active life. I have no history of breast cancer in my family, I was only 31 years old at the time and living with my roommate in Santa Monica.
While rehearsing for my annual E Plus Productions New Years event, I painfully strained a muscle in my chest, or so I thought. During our breaks, I would massage the area and I ended up discovering a lump. I immediately had all the necessary tests completed, but several days later it was determined to be cancer.
My journey over the past 4 years has been one that I've shared with many friends and family, but few strangers realize by looking at me that my body has gone through the ringer! I began with 2 lumpectomies, then onto chemo, decided on a double mastectomy with breast reconstruction, and began a variety of medications. For 6 months we all thought things were under control, but then I started feeling some unusual pain in my sternum that bothered me.
On February 18, 2008 right at the end of my final reconstruction surgery, the plastic surgeon found a lump in my chest muscle. It was determined to be breast cancer once again. After a couple of weeks of tests and scans, I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer which had spread through my blood stream and lymph nodes to my bones and had turned into stage 4. Radiation to follow…
My world seemed to be falling apart at a rapid speed. My family and I were devastated, but I was determined to keep fighting and I set many goals for myself to keep busy. My mom discovered a doctor in Korea who seemed to be a pioneer in stem cell therapy. In May 2008, just a couple DAYS after getting married, my mom and I were on a plane to Korea. While in Korea, I met Rising Star Healer, John and we quickly became friends. He was there with HIS father who was suffering from cancer too. In Korea, I received stem cell therapy, DNA/Gene Therapy from Dr. Moon, Rising Star Healings and fellowship with John, and a variety of other toxic medications given to me by my Kaiser doctors. I also did my best to combat this thing with my diet and various supplements, but I was required to eat red meat for the production of healthy red blood cells, and that didn’t fit with my diet regime. At the time II just did what I was told and had FAITH that everything would work! When mom and I left Korea 36 days later, the cancer had vanished from my sternum bone, chest wall, lymph nodes and sacrum, but there was still a bit left in other areas of the bone. Nonetheless, we were ecstatic and I was ready to get back home and start life with my new husband.
After returning home, the next step in Dr. Moon’s protocol was beginning 2 more toxic drugs called Herceptin and Avastin. Dr. Moon and my doctors in the U.S. had conflicting opinions on whether I even needed Herceptin, but after a long fight I tested borderline for needing the Herceptin. After only 2 treatments, I was feeling like I was going to have a heart attack from this drug. While waiting for the doctor to see me at my next appointment, I felt very unsettled in my core, and something told me to leave. This didn’t feel right to me anymore. I was just chasing the cancer around and acting out of fear. I got up and left Kaiser…not telling them. I panicked and went off all my medications at once. I had been researching Dr. Young and his alkaline protocol for several months prior, and decided to jump on HIS band wagon instead. Very, very difficult transition for me. I did alternative treatments on a weekly basis of far-infared sauna, lymphatic massage, colonics, IV of sodium bicarbonate treatments, and herbal supplementation. I went alkaline/vegan the best I could.
However, In June 2009 I was in terrible pain again to the point I could not walk without help. A petscan showed that there were NEW lesions in the spine, femurs, hips and pelvis. For the entire next year I was in and out of the hospital. My husband and I separated and I was living with my folks in Orange County. I went through 3 more major surgeries. First was a spine surgery (L4 fusion w L3 and L5) where tumors had deteriorated vertebrae, close to fracturing. Next, I was transferred to Kaiser, Baldwin Park for pelvis and femur surgery. Titanium rods were placed inside each femur bone for stabilization, and metal plate and screws were inserted in upper left pelvis for stabilization. I Received 3 blood transfusions during the surgery. Next up was radiation to the affected areas, and ANOTHER spine fusion 6 months later.
This ALL seemed SO unfair. My body was NOT winning and my life seemed to be coming to an end. More lesions had formed on the skull and radiation was no longer an option. I was forced to look outside the box again and again. I was SO tired of making decisions. Thank the LORD I had my family, amazing friends and even STRANGERS to support me through this! Eventually I came to the understanding that I needed to put my sword down for awhile and allow GOD to guide me. I seemed to forget about HIM throughout this process. I felt HE abandoned me, and I was SO angry! How could this happen to someone like me?! I felt helpless, hopeless, confused, ashamed, hurt, guilty….you name it! I was forced to simplify my life to the bare minimum. However, somehow during the process, my senses began to awaken. I turned within and asked Jesus to take the wheel…”I’m ready for you. I’m so extremely tired and I need your help.”
Once I allowed the Lord back into my life, MIRACLES began to occur. I can’t even begin to count how many. It seemed every day was getting better and better. My friends and family once again rallied together for a fundraiser in my honor and that gave me a solid goal to shoot for! My body was still very fragile from surgeries, I was on a home care program and could only crawl on hands and knees. My doctors were assuming the next step for me would be hospice. This is where I turned around and said, “Um, excuse me?? Who are YOU to decide my fate?? I was at my limit and became fed up with ALL of it! One day, I launched my walker out the patio door and yelled out to the world…”This IS MY LIFE! ONLY GOD KNOWS!” And a variety of other harsh words that scared my mom….sorry mom. But, I WALKED for the first time in months! I wasn’t apologizing. Whether that doctor was right or wrong, she just added the perfect amount of fuel to my fire to get better!! 2 weeks later, I was up walking with a cane and speaking words of gratitude at my fundraiser! AHHHHH!! It felt AMAZING, and I LOVED being back with all my talented collegues, friends and family! I will never forget that day!
Thank you to my beautiful friend Levi Walker and every other ANGEL who participated in the NoHo Pac Grand Opening, July 30, 2010! It is a day I will cherish for as long as I live!
It is now Friday, August 27, 2010 and I am alive and well!! My body is still in some pain and it is difficult to walk, but THIS kind of pain is different. This IS surgical pain. I know the difference now. I may still have some residual cancer in the spine, but I know it will soon disappear for good. Mind over matter, baby! In the meantime, I AM on chemo, tamoxifen, pain meds and a steroid until I’m “in remission” (whatever THAT means ;) ) And I am slowly incorporating the alkaline protocol back into my life. Slow and steady. It seems to be ALL about a perfect balance of the body/mind/spirit. The trick is to maintain this balance at every moment of every day. This is my new goal. This is my NEW life. I am happy that GOD is on my side and I am even more happy to be alive to share this story. As my Kevin cousin always used to say, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy, and Get Busy Living!”
Thank you to all my beautiful Angels on earth and in Heaven..…I couldn’t do this without you!
LOVE AND GRATITUDE ALL WAYS,
Trycia Carlberg
Friday, August 27, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Conversation with Charlie
Dear Charlie,
I hope this finds you well, and that you're in good spirits, and even better health!
You said something in your letter that I thought was interesting....you said,
"I do not think that there will ever be a cure for cancer as long as the drug companies weld the power they do. Too much money at stake to develop a cure, and I assure you the government is not that interested in folks living a long time on social security."
The second part, I GET and agree with. However, I DO believe there IS a cure and the "cure" is up to the patient. The patient needs to find a complete balance in life. Body/mind/spirit. It takes a great deal of hard work, emotional healing, GOD, belief, trust, perservearance, goal setting, some modern medicine....BUT, an overall change of attitude, lifestyle, diet, habits, healing old pains, etc etc.
I have been working on this ever since Korea, and it has PAYED OFF!! I am doing really well!
You remember John Seibert, right?! His son, "little" John and I have kept in close contact the past 2 years. He is a pychotherapist and energy healer. He does amazing work that will help rid cancer in your body. Charlie, I am living proof that these alternative modalities work!! I am still receiving healings from John, til this day. His costs are completely reasonable, and worth exploring! He can do "remote" sessions on you with him in AZ and you in Texas! Please please DO NOT overlook this and forward onto any others you feel may be interested!! John's email is www.beofoneheart@aol.com
Take a look at my facebook page when you get the opportunity to see what I've been up to! LIVING..primarily!!
July 2010 -in a wheelchair and I could only crawl to the bathroom and back with excruciating pain. (breast cancer spread to the bones) I had basically crawled up into a cave at my parents house and wanted to die. I went through a difficult divorce, moved back in with the folks for a year, began and ended a new romance, had HUGE bouts of depression, anger, bitternesss, resentment towards everyone in my life. I felt abandoned by my friends because I DECIDED to close myself off from the world for 6 months.
This past July, my friends rallyed together to create another fundraiser for me. This gave me a goal to work towards. As a performer, I refused to show up to this event in a wheelchair! These were dancers, collegues, professionals. If I was going to speak at this event, it would be on my own two feet! I went from hands and knees, to walker, to crutches, to a single cane in 2 weeks!! I joined a gym, got on a proper pain management regimine, began chemo pills, tamoxifen, various herbs and healthy eating, and most of all, CHANGED MY MIND about my life!! I made the choice to LIVE! AND, I spoke at the event on my OWN TWO FEET...with the help of a cane.
Shortly after that, I hooked up with John for more "Rising Star" healings and have incorporated them into my life.
Things are wonderful, Charlie. My body gets stronger and stronger by the day, my mind is sharp as a tack, I feel NO new cancer pains, I couldn't be happier, and I KNOW that I am going to continue to kick cancer's ass! For everyone else who could not!! All of our Korea pals, all friends and family that have passed, etc etc.
PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP, Charlie! I know that your body hates you right now, but GOD loves you and wants you well! You are meant to be well, it is your God-given right!!
I think you are wonderful, I love you and I want you to WIN this battle with me!! And Lisa! I'm going to attach her to this email too!
I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear from you when you feel up to it! And you can call anytime too! 310-210-2258.
Your forever pal,
Trycia
Trycia Carlberg
www.angels4tlc.org
The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will interest her or his patients in the care of the human frame, in a proper diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease.
Thomas A. Edison
US inventor (1847 - 1931)
________________________________________
To: tryciaperry@yahoo.com
Sent: Mon, May 24, 2010
Hi Trycia! Ole Charlie Gray here. Just got back from Seoul again, third time over. Treatment was pretty rough this time. Had 9 or 10 little tumors that had to be radiated with the new "rapid arc" machine. Most were lung tumors, but one was on my adrenal gland just above my kidney. Frying that bastard took a lot out of me, as well as Dr. Moon's standard therapy, which more and more involves some aspects of chemo. Like you, I could not afford to undergo all his suggestions, but did do Avastin one time.
I do not think I will ever go back to Korea. Pretty much had it! He is supposed to open his clinic in Cabo San Lucas in a couple of months, and I may consider going over there one more time, but pretty much have decided to let this thing run its course. I know he can not cure my cancer, and with all things considered, it is just a matter of time. I think that the most important aspect of my life at present is simply to enjoy what time I have left, and when I am no longer able to enjoy living and being mobile, I feel I will be more than ready to turn the page. If things go as they have been, I may be able to enjoy one more Christmas, but never another, and that may be optimistic.
Trycia, I feel your despair and your pain. I guess the only people that can truly understand or the ones that share the same burdens. You are so young and so full of promise. At least I managed to live a pretty long life considering how much I abused my little body. In your case, it just does not seem fair, does it? But, as you well know, life has never been fair. When I was a teen, a had a terrible bout of pimples. I was too tall and too skinney, and there was no way in hell I was ever going to master algebra. Then I had the terrible luck of falling in love with a very short little German girl that did not love me, and totally ignored a very beautiful tall girl that did love me. What an idiot. It seems like I never missed a chance to mess-up. I bet you did not make those kind of mistakes when you were growing up.
Trycia, I sincerely wish I had something to say that would make things better, I truly do, but I don't. I do not think that there will ever be a cure for cancer as long as the drug companies weld the power they do. Too much money at stake to develop a cure, and I assure you the government is not that interested in folks living a long time on social security. I visited with a young man in Korea that was investigating the deficiences of certain drugs made overseas, and he swore that several drug companies already have cancer cures they keep under wraps. Same for aids. Remember when Majic Johnson first got aids. Then all of a sudden, aids became no problem for him. When asked about that the first time, he stated that he had received the cure, but since then, has keep his mouth shut. Makes sense to me, but sure would hate to be in those folks shoes on that great day of judgement, if it is true.
Well, I have rattled on long enough. Try to keep your chin-up, and I will do my part by keeping you in my prayers. May God bless AND GIVE YOU STRENGTH........... Your pal - Charlie Gray
I hope this finds you well, and that you're in good spirits, and even better health!
You said something in your letter that I thought was interesting....you said,
"I do not think that there will ever be a cure for cancer as long as the drug companies weld the power they do. Too much money at stake to develop a cure, and I assure you the government is not that interested in folks living a long time on social security."
The second part, I GET and agree with. However, I DO believe there IS a cure and the "cure" is up to the patient. The patient needs to find a complete balance in life. Body/mind/spirit. It takes a great deal of hard work, emotional healing, GOD, belief, trust, perservearance, goal setting, some modern medicine....BUT, an overall change of attitude, lifestyle, diet, habits, healing old pains, etc etc.
I have been working on this ever since Korea, and it has PAYED OFF!! I am doing really well!
You remember John Seibert, right?! His son, "little" John and I have kept in close contact the past 2 years. He is a pychotherapist and energy healer. He does amazing work that will help rid cancer in your body. Charlie, I am living proof that these alternative modalities work!! I am still receiving healings from John, til this day. His costs are completely reasonable, and worth exploring! He can do "remote" sessions on you with him in AZ and you in Texas! Please please DO NOT overlook this and forward onto any others you feel may be interested!! John's email is www.beofoneheart@aol.com
Take a look at my facebook page when you get the opportunity to see what I've been up to! LIVING..primarily!!
July 2010 -in a wheelchair and I could only crawl to the bathroom and back with excruciating pain. (breast cancer spread to the bones) I had basically crawled up into a cave at my parents house and wanted to die. I went through a difficult divorce, moved back in with the folks for a year, began and ended a new romance, had HUGE bouts of depression, anger, bitternesss, resentment towards everyone in my life. I felt abandoned by my friends because I DECIDED to close myself off from the world for 6 months.
This past July, my friends rallyed together to create another fundraiser for me. This gave me a goal to work towards. As a performer, I refused to show up to this event in a wheelchair! These were dancers, collegues, professionals. If I was going to speak at this event, it would be on my own two feet! I went from hands and knees, to walker, to crutches, to a single cane in 2 weeks!! I joined a gym, got on a proper pain management regimine, began chemo pills, tamoxifen, various herbs and healthy eating, and most of all, CHANGED MY MIND about my life!! I made the choice to LIVE! AND, I spoke at the event on my OWN TWO FEET...with the help of a cane.
Shortly after that, I hooked up with John for more "Rising Star" healings and have incorporated them into my life.
Things are wonderful, Charlie. My body gets stronger and stronger by the day, my mind is sharp as a tack, I feel NO new cancer pains, I couldn't be happier, and I KNOW that I am going to continue to kick cancer's ass! For everyone else who could not!! All of our Korea pals, all friends and family that have passed, etc etc.
PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP, Charlie! I know that your body hates you right now, but GOD loves you and wants you well! You are meant to be well, it is your God-given right!!
I think you are wonderful, I love you and I want you to WIN this battle with me!! And Lisa! I'm going to attach her to this email too!
I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear from you when you feel up to it! And you can call anytime too! 310-210-2258.
Your forever pal,
Trycia
Trycia Carlberg
www.angels4tlc.org
The doctor of the future will give no medicine, but will interest her or his patients in the care of the human frame, in a proper diet, and in the cause and prevention of disease.
Thomas A. Edison
US inventor (1847 - 1931)
________________________________________
To: tryciaperry@yahoo.com
Sent: Mon, May 24, 2010
Hi Trycia! Ole Charlie Gray here. Just got back from Seoul again, third time over. Treatment was pretty rough this time. Had 9 or 10 little tumors that had to be radiated with the new "rapid arc" machine. Most were lung tumors, but one was on my adrenal gland just above my kidney. Frying that bastard took a lot out of me, as well as Dr. Moon's standard therapy, which more and more involves some aspects of chemo. Like you, I could not afford to undergo all his suggestions, but did do Avastin one time.
I do not think I will ever go back to Korea. Pretty much had it! He is supposed to open his clinic in Cabo San Lucas in a couple of months, and I may consider going over there one more time, but pretty much have decided to let this thing run its course. I know he can not cure my cancer, and with all things considered, it is just a matter of time. I think that the most important aspect of my life at present is simply to enjoy what time I have left, and when I am no longer able to enjoy living and being mobile, I feel I will be more than ready to turn the page. If things go as they have been, I may be able to enjoy one more Christmas, but never another, and that may be optimistic.
Trycia, I feel your despair and your pain. I guess the only people that can truly understand or the ones that share the same burdens. You are so young and so full of promise. At least I managed to live a pretty long life considering how much I abused my little body. In your case, it just does not seem fair, does it? But, as you well know, life has never been fair. When I was a teen, a had a terrible bout of pimples. I was too tall and too skinney, and there was no way in hell I was ever going to master algebra. Then I had the terrible luck of falling in love with a very short little German girl that did not love me, and totally ignored a very beautiful tall girl that did love me. What an idiot. It seems like I never missed a chance to mess-up. I bet you did not make those kind of mistakes when you were growing up.
Trycia, I sincerely wish I had something to say that would make things better, I truly do, but I don't. I do not think that there will ever be a cure for cancer as long as the drug companies weld the power they do. Too much money at stake to develop a cure, and I assure you the government is not that interested in folks living a long time on social security. I visited with a young man in Korea that was investigating the deficiences of certain drugs made overseas, and he swore that several drug companies already have cancer cures they keep under wraps. Same for aids. Remember when Majic Johnson first got aids. Then all of a sudden, aids became no problem for him. When asked about that the first time, he stated that he had received the cure, but since then, has keep his mouth shut. Makes sense to me, but sure would hate to be in those folks shoes on that great day of judgement, if it is true.
Well, I have rattled on long enough. Try to keep your chin-up, and I will do my part by keeping you in my prayers. May God bless AND GIVE YOU STRENGTH........... Your pal - Charlie Gray
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