Since my last blog in November, I had been living in a place of constant fear, anxiety, and confusion. My surgeries were all successful and I was now able to walk with a cane, but I still needed more and more radiation. It seemed that every time I finished radiation on one part of my body, NEW pain was popping up in other areas. Just as I was gaining more strength and confidence, radiation would lower my blood counts and drop my energy back down. I was so tired of these ups and downs...I was in a state of limbo and I couldn't break out of it. This is when I decided it was time to start setting some goals in my life. If I had a limited amount of time to live and this is what my life was going to be like, it was time to do something exciting. I had just finished reading "Eat, Pray, Love," which gave me additional hope, courage, and determination to get outta dodge. Peru was one of my first thoughts for a spiritual getaway, so I started planning for a trip in March. But March seemed so far away...it was only November. I needed change and I needed it NOW! My mom and I were shopping one day at a metaphysical store near home and started talking to the store owner about healing places to visit. She recommended we visit the healing vortexes of Sedona, Arizona. Neither of us had ever been to Sedona or knew what a vortex was, but we loved the sound of it! We booked a trip for the week before Christmas. I can't even begin to tell you how incredible our trip was! SO much beauty, solitude, peace and hope was found on this journey. The views from the Red Rocks were breathtaking. The air was crisp and clean, and the experience was nothing less than magical. We met some amazing people, including a holistic doctor who offered us a lot of hope in some cutting-edge alternative therapies. (if you know me, you KNOW I'm all about cutting-edge, "out of the box" thinking.) He advised us, however, that some dental work be done first for these therapies to be most effective. Highly toxic amalgam fillings and other hidden cavitations needed to be removed as they were likely contributing to the cancer. Then bio-oxidative treatments could be administered to get oxygen back into the anaerobic cells. We were anxious to continue researching these theories. This was not brand new information to us. We just hadn't been able to thoroughly explore these options due to the need for emergency surgery back in August. Our plan was to get a dental evaluation done, get the mercury removed, and then I would move to Sedona for a few months to receive these promising holistic treatments. SO EXCITING! Everything seemed to be falling into place. By January 1st 2010, I was able to walk on my own without a cane. I was beginning to regain some of my long lost energy, I found a wonderful woman who offered to rent out a room in her home just BLOCKS from the doc in Sedona. OH, but one thing.....I had absolutely NO idea how I was going to pay for any of this...haha! Of course insurance doesn't cover these things, so Mom and I were just praying for abundance and remembering that "we get what we need when we need it." I set up an appointment with a holistic dentist to get some xrays and a cavitat scan done to see the level of toxicity hidden in my mouth. The results showed a fair amount.....around $15,000 worth of cavitation clean up, oral surgery, and mercury removal....no big whoop! I held it together pretty well while at the dentist's office, but when I got home and I told my parents, I completely lost it! I felt so hopeless and so overwhelmed with emotion. How the hell does anyone with cancer expect to get better when the most promising treatments are completely unaffordable?? I just wanted to get to Sedona for the OTHER therapies! I didn't know the dental portion of the equation would be such an enormous setback! Back to square one...fear, anxiety, confusion and NOW ANGER! I was so incredibly disappointed, and now I had to tell my friends "change of plans!" again. Of course I went into hiding once again to figure things out. I cried, I prayed, I meditated, I researched, and I slept...A LOT. Interestingly enough, my dreams are where I received most of my answers. I felt most peaceful and hopeful when I awoke from a dream. I started writing everything down...EVERYTHING. Powerful insights began to emerge, flickers of clarity were developing, something incredible was happening. I was listening to my soul for guidance and it was answering.... TO BE Continued...:)
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Continuing on the journey
Since my last blog in November, I had been living in a place of constant fear, anxiety, and confusion. My surgeries were all successful and I was now able to walk with a cane, but I still needed more and more radiation. It seemed that every time I finished radiation on one part of my body, NEW pain was popping up in other areas. Just as I was gaining more strength and confidence, radiation would lower my blood counts and drop my energy back down. I was so tired of these ups and downs...I was in a state of limbo and I couldn't break out of it. This is when I decided it was time to start setting some goals in my life. If I had a limited amount of time to live and this is what my life was going to be like, it was time to do something exciting. I had just finished reading "Eat, Pray, Love," which gave me additional hope, courage, and determination to get outta dodge. Peru was one of my first thoughts for a spiritual getaway, so I started planning for a trip in March. But March seemed so far away...it was only November. I needed change and I needed it NOW! My mom and I were shopping one day at a metaphysical store near home and started talking to the store owner about healing places to visit. She recommended we visit the healing vortexes of Sedona, Arizona. Neither of us had ever been to Sedona or knew what a vortex was, but we loved the sound of it! We booked a trip for the week before Christmas. I can't even begin to tell you how incredible our trip was! SO much beauty, solitude, peace and hope was found on this journey. The views from the Red Rocks were breathtaking. The air was crisp and clean, and the experience was nothing less than magical. We met some amazing people, including a holistic doctor who offered us a lot of hope in some cutting-edge alternative therapies. (if you know me, you KNOW I'm all about cutting-edge, "out of the box" thinking.) He advised us, however, that some dental work be done first for these therapies to be most effective. Highly toxic amalgam fillings and other hidden cavitations needed to be removed as they were likely contributing to the cancer. Then bio-oxidative treatments could be administered to get oxygen back into the anaerobic cells. We were anxious to continue researching these theories. This was not brand new information to us. We just hadn't been able to thoroughly explore these options due to the need for emergency surgery back in August. Our plan was to get a dental evaluation done, get the mercury removed, and then I would move to Sedona for a few months to receive these promising holistic treatments. SO EXCITING! Everything seemed to be falling into place. By January 1st 2010, I was able to walk on my own without a cane. I was beginning to regain some of my long lost energy, I found a wonderful woman who offered to rent out a room in her home just BLOCKS from the doc in Sedona. OH, but one thing.....I had absolutely NO idea how I was going to pay for any of this...haha! Of course insurance doesn't cover these things, so Mom and I were just praying for abundance and remembering that "we get what we need when we need it." I set up an appointment with a holistic dentist to get some xrays and a cavitat scan done to see the level of toxicity hidden in my mouth. The results showed a fair amount.....around $15,000 worth of cavitation clean up, oral surgery, and mercury removal....no big whoop! I held it together pretty well while at the dentist's office, but when I got home and I told my parents, I completely lost it! I felt so hopeless and so overwhelmed with emotion. How the hell does anyone with cancer expect to get better when the most promising treatments are completely unaffordable?? I just wanted to get to Sedona for the OTHER therapies! I didn't know the dental portion of the equation would be such an enormous setback! Back to square one...fear, anxiety, confusion and NOW ANGER! I was so incredibly disappointed, and now I had to tell my friends "change of plans!" again. Of course I went into hiding once again to figure things out. I cried, I prayed, I meditated, I researched, and I slept...A LOT. Interestingly enough, my dreams are where I received most of my answers. I felt most peaceful and hopeful when I awoke from a dream. I started writing everything down...EVERYTHING. Powerful insights began to emerge, flickers of clarity were developing, something incredible was happening. I was listening to my soul for guidance and it was answering.... TO BE Continued...:)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
quick update and Happy Thanksgiving!
Not a lot of new info...it's the waiting game again. However, I did meet with my radiation oncologist to discuss radiation to this new area of pain in my ribs. Because I am back on pain meds, it is hard to decipher where the pain is actually coming from. Therefore, he recommends a bonescan before proceeding with more radiation. I have an appt for the scan on the friday after Thanksgiving. Also, he was not worried at all about the potential mark they saw on my lung either...phew! He showed me the xrays and I was barely able to see it. When he zoomed in at a different angle, it had disappeared completely. I was very relieved. I also got my bone infusion last week to help strengthen the bones and hopefully shrink the lesions more. I was glad to get that taken care of.
So, other than that I've been laying pretty low, hanging with friends a bit, but mostly reading, meditating and resting.
I feel very compelled to go on a spiritual getaway, so my mom and I are planning a trip to Sedona, AZ on her winter break. And I am also researching and planning a trip to Cusco, Peru in early April.
I feel an enormous sense of freedom already just by planning these trips. It allows me to escape from the endless chatter going on in my head and focus on exciting adventures for my soul. Interesting that this is what my horoscope said today...
"A rested mind gives us the ability to remain calm during uncertain circumstances and provides the clarity and insight to make wiser decisions. While feelings of anxiety are often caused by fear, we can make matters worse by obsessing over our anxious thoughts, creating an ongoing cycle of tension. By choosing instead to release our fearful thoughts and give our minds a rest, we free ourselves from the bonds of fear and empower ourselves with clear thinking processes that can help us devise solutions to problems and make more lucid decisions. Choosing to focus on the peaceful stillness within you today can neutralize your anxiety and restore a sense of balance again."
God sure has impeccable timing! :)
Wishing everyone a very safe and Happy Thanksgiving! Be sure to share what you are thankful for! Gratitude will always create the pathway to many more blessings!
Lots of love and light,
Trysh
So, other than that I've been laying pretty low, hanging with friends a bit, but mostly reading, meditating and resting.
I feel very compelled to go on a spiritual getaway, so my mom and I are planning a trip to Sedona, AZ on her winter break. And I am also researching and planning a trip to Cusco, Peru in early April.
I feel an enormous sense of freedom already just by planning these trips. It allows me to escape from the endless chatter going on in my head and focus on exciting adventures for my soul. Interesting that this is what my horoscope said today...
"A rested mind gives us the ability to remain calm during uncertain circumstances and provides the clarity and insight to make wiser decisions. While feelings of anxiety are often caused by fear, we can make matters worse by obsessing over our anxious thoughts, creating an ongoing cycle of tension. By choosing instead to release our fearful thoughts and give our minds a rest, we free ourselves from the bonds of fear and empower ourselves with clear thinking processes that can help us devise solutions to problems and make more lucid decisions. Choosing to focus on the peaceful stillness within you today can neutralize your anxiety and restore a sense of balance again."
God sure has impeccable timing! :)
Wishing everyone a very safe and Happy Thanksgiving! Be sure to share what you are thankful for! Gratitude will always create the pathway to many more blessings!
Lots of love and light,
Trysh
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Trycia's Angels - Community Announcements
Long Day
posted by Trycia Perry, Wednesday, November 4, 2009, 10:15 PM
So after a long and exhausting day driving from San Clemente to LA for my oncologist appt, here is the latest news...the good news first! The lesion they 'thought' they saw on my lung was an 'unspecific 1-2 mm spot, not necessarily even cancer' My oncologist is NOT worried, but we will keep an eye on it in just in case for the next several months. She said it is so small that it wouldn't even show up on a petscan. Upon hearing this, I lost it. I was beyond relieved and sooo needed this good news today!
The other news is that my recent radiation has dropped my white blood cell count down significantly, so I am feeling very weak, rundown and suseptible to colds, the flu, and other infections. This may last up to a month. However, I was given "neupogen injections" which will boost the WBC's back up. I had one today, and I am feeling a little better already.
As far as radiation to the rib area, we will evaluate this next week. In the meantime, I am back on fentenyl for awhile to mask the pain so I can function like a normal human being.
I will be going back on my chemo pill as soon as my immune system is strong enough to handle it and will also be getting Aridea (2 hour bone infusions) once a month to strengthen my bones, decrease pain and hopefully further shrink the remaining tumor growth.
Lotta information to absorb, and I am overwhelmed to say the least, but I am grateful that I have these options. She also said my diet is great and to keep it up!
I saw at least 10 hawks on our drive today, and if you know me, you know how much I adore these creatures. They have been around me for months now. I found out that they represent "a higher purpose" which makes sense to what I have been going through. i just wish I knew what this "higher purpose" was because frankly, I am sick and tired of ALL OF IT! Is that bad? Whatevs...I feel justified in saying this today. HA!
Anyways, my birthday is on sunday and I will use this as a goal to gain back some strength so I can party like a rockstar! If I have to be on all these stupid drugs, they can get me through ONE festive evening of karaoke fun.
So, that's it for now...thank you for the prayers and well wishes! I'm a little upset with God right now, so I'm grateful He responded to all of your prayers! haha :) I'll get back on track soon...I promise. Lots of love to all! Trysh
posted by Trycia Perry, Wednesday, November 4, 2009, 10:15 PM
So after a long and exhausting day driving from San Clemente to LA for my oncologist appt, here is the latest news...the good news first! The lesion they 'thought' they saw on my lung was an 'unspecific 1-2 mm spot, not necessarily even cancer' My oncologist is NOT worried, but we will keep an eye on it in just in case for the next several months. She said it is so small that it wouldn't even show up on a petscan. Upon hearing this, I lost it. I was beyond relieved and sooo needed this good news today!
The other news is that my recent radiation has dropped my white blood cell count down significantly, so I am feeling very weak, rundown and suseptible to colds, the flu, and other infections. This may last up to a month. However, I was given "neupogen injections" which will boost the WBC's back up. I had one today, and I am feeling a little better already.
As far as radiation to the rib area, we will evaluate this next week. In the meantime, I am back on fentenyl for awhile to mask the pain so I can function like a normal human being.
I will be going back on my chemo pill as soon as my immune system is strong enough to handle it and will also be getting Aridea (2 hour bone infusions) once a month to strengthen my bones, decrease pain and hopefully further shrink the remaining tumor growth.
Lotta information to absorb, and I am overwhelmed to say the least, but I am grateful that I have these options. She also said my diet is great and to keep it up!
I saw at least 10 hawks on our drive today, and if you know me, you know how much I adore these creatures. They have been around me for months now. I found out that they represent "a higher purpose" which makes sense to what I have been going through. i just wish I knew what this "higher purpose" was because frankly, I am sick and tired of ALL OF IT! Is that bad? Whatevs...I feel justified in saying this today. HA!
Anyways, my birthday is on sunday and I will use this as a goal to gain back some strength so I can party like a rockstar! If I have to be on all these stupid drugs, they can get me through ONE festive evening of karaoke fun.
So, that's it for now...thank you for the prayers and well wishes! I'm a little upset with God right now, so I'm grateful He responded to all of your prayers! haha :) I'll get back on track soon...I promise. Lots of love to all! Trysh
Trycia's Angels - Community Announcements
ER update
posted by Trycia Perry, Monday, November 2, 2009, 5:45 PM
Hello again, I did end up going to the ER today. After some bloodwork and a CT scan, they did find more cancer in the upper right ribs. More scans need to be done, but there also may be a small lesion on the lung. I meet with my oncologist wednesday to discuss my all my options and run more tests. The good thing is I DO have options. Most likely we can do more radiation, but at this point it may be time for me to go back on my chemo pill as well. (the one where I wouldn't lose my hair) Good God I just don't understand why this is happening but somehow I'm always able to handle it. I plan on moving forward with life as usual and enjoyment regardless of this new development. Thank u for all the support as always... Love u guys... T
posted by Trycia Perry, Monday, November 2, 2009, 5:45 PM
Hello again, I did end up going to the ER today. After some bloodwork and a CT scan, they did find more cancer in the upper right ribs. More scans need to be done, but there also may be a small lesion on the lung. I meet with my oncologist wednesday to discuss my all my options and run more tests. The good thing is I DO have options. Most likely we can do more radiation, but at this point it may be time for me to go back on my chemo pill as well. (the one where I wouldn't lose my hair) Good God I just don't understand why this is happening but somehow I'm always able to handle it. I plan on moving forward with life as usual and enjoyment regardless of this new development. Thank u for all the support as always... Love u guys... T
Trycia's Angels - Community Announcements
radiation update
posted by Trycia Perry, Tuesday, October 20, 2009, 11:00 AM
I had an appt with my radiation doc yesterday to discuss my bloodwork and decide if my immune system is strong enough to handle more radiation. It was, of course. :) He gave me the option of radiating each hip separately, or together. I chose to do both together to get it done sooner, which may be a little tougher on my body. I'm sure I can handle it...I'm a strong girl. Today, we will prep the area (both hips and femurs) and then 5 days of radiation will be scheduled. (most likely starting next week) My goal today is to increase my green drinks, resume my supplements, meditate, continue with pt and swimming, but get plenty of rest also. Please keep me in your prayers that I may have the strength and resilience to get through this next step. Thank you, and I promise to be better with the updates ;)
Just got home following a 2 hour, semi-torturous radiation prep in Garden Grove. Its all good...it was just very long and I was in some pain laying on a hard table for so long. Anyways, the next round of radiation (5 days total) will begin on monday 10/26/09 thru friday at 2PM each day. I have been driving myself to most of my appts lately, but I may need help with rides next week if the radiation leaves me overly fatigued. I will update the calender section if I end up needing rides. Hungry...so gonna eat dinner now :)
radiation complete
posted by Trycia Perry, Sunday, November 1, 2009, 12:30 PM
I'm happy to report that I finished my last bout of radiation in my hips and femurs this past friday. I was able to drive myself to and from each appt with no problems and very little fatigue. However, these past several weeks I have been weening myself off of fentenyl. (the opiate that is 100 times stronger than morphine) So, lately I have been feeling more pain than usual. I also have been feeling some new, strong pain in my upper right back area. I've tried to ignore it, thinking it would go away, but it hasn't. My oncologist always tells me that if I ever feel any "new pain," I should go to the ER. I am sitting on my parents sundeck, reading "eat pray love," contemplating what I want to do. I'm very emotional right now because I feel like I just can't get a handle on this bullshit. I'm over ONE hump and start trying to plan my life again and then WHAM another potential setback. If I do go to the ER it will most likely be tomorrow. For now, I am once again asking for your prayers that the pain is just a pulled muscle or some other minor thing. Even if if IS cancer, I pray that it is only in the bone (not the lung) can be treated with radiation and I could get back to my life again. All I want is to be able to move forward. Any advice and prayers are welcomed at this time. LoveLoveLove, Trysh
posted by Trycia Perry, Tuesday, October 20, 2009, 11:00 AM
I had an appt with my radiation doc yesterday to discuss my bloodwork and decide if my immune system is strong enough to handle more radiation. It was, of course. :) He gave me the option of radiating each hip separately, or together. I chose to do both together to get it done sooner, which may be a little tougher on my body. I'm sure I can handle it...I'm a strong girl. Today, we will prep the area (both hips and femurs) and then 5 days of radiation will be scheduled. (most likely starting next week) My goal today is to increase my green drinks, resume my supplements, meditate, continue with pt and swimming, but get plenty of rest also. Please keep me in your prayers that I may have the strength and resilience to get through this next step. Thank you, and I promise to be better with the updates ;)
Just got home following a 2 hour, semi-torturous radiation prep in Garden Grove. Its all good...it was just very long and I was in some pain laying on a hard table for so long. Anyways, the next round of radiation (5 days total) will begin on monday 10/26/09 thru friday at 2PM each day. I have been driving myself to most of my appts lately, but I may need help with rides next week if the radiation leaves me overly fatigued. I will update the calender section if I end up needing rides. Hungry...so gonna eat dinner now :)
radiation complete
posted by Trycia Perry, Sunday, November 1, 2009, 12:30 PM
I'm happy to report that I finished my last bout of radiation in my hips and femurs this past friday. I was able to drive myself to and from each appt with no problems and very little fatigue. However, these past several weeks I have been weening myself off of fentenyl. (the opiate that is 100 times stronger than morphine) So, lately I have been feeling more pain than usual. I also have been feeling some new, strong pain in my upper right back area. I've tried to ignore it, thinking it would go away, but it hasn't. My oncologist always tells me that if I ever feel any "new pain," I should go to the ER. I am sitting on my parents sundeck, reading "eat pray love," contemplating what I want to do. I'm very emotional right now because I feel like I just can't get a handle on this bullshit. I'm over ONE hump and start trying to plan my life again and then WHAM another potential setback. If I do go to the ER it will most likely be tomorrow. For now, I am once again asking for your prayers that the pain is just a pulled muscle or some other minor thing. Even if if IS cancer, I pray that it is only in the bone (not the lung) can be treated with radiation and I could get back to my life again. All I want is to be able to move forward. Any advice and prayers are welcomed at this time. LoveLoveLove, Trysh
Trycia's Angels - Community Announcements
hello!
posted by Trycia Perry, Sunday, October 18, 2009, 3:08 PM
Just a quick update to let you know that I am progressing very well! I am now walking with one crutch, driving, swimming, doing physical therapy and even visiting and hanging with friends! Its been a very rough recovery process...probably the worst of my life, but the docs are optimistic and I am optimistic, so there ya go! Cancer aint got nothin on me!! :)
I did have one major dose of radiation on my upper spine, 5 doses on my lower spine, and I meet with the doc on monday to see if I will do radiation on the hips. I have been weening off my narcotics very slowly. I made a terrible mistake of going cold turkey at one point, and went through horrendous withdrawls. It was terrifying! Don't EVER try that with Fentenyl!
Anyways, I am sooo happy to be recovering so well. I have such wonderful family and friends pushing me along every day. I'm a very lucky and grateful girl! Until next time....love and blessings! Trycia
posted by Trycia Perry, Sunday, October 18, 2009, 3:08 PM
Just a quick update to let you know that I am progressing very well! I am now walking with one crutch, driving, swimming, doing physical therapy and even visiting and hanging with friends! Its been a very rough recovery process...probably the worst of my life, but the docs are optimistic and I am optimistic, so there ya go! Cancer aint got nothin on me!! :)
I did have one major dose of radiation on my upper spine, 5 doses on my lower spine, and I meet with the doc on monday to see if I will do radiation on the hips. I have been weening off my narcotics very slowly. I made a terrible mistake of going cold turkey at one point, and went through horrendous withdrawls. It was terrifying! Don't EVER try that with Fentenyl!
Anyways, I am sooo happy to be recovering so well. I have such wonderful family and friends pushing me along every day. I'm a very lucky and grateful girl! Until next time....love and blessings! Trycia
Trycia's Angels - Community Announcements
heading home!
posted by Trycia Perry, Friday, August 28, 2009, 1:43 PM
hey everyone, I am heading home today to my parents house in san clemente! yay! It took awhile for the pain management team to figure out a pain med combination that would work for me to take home. The PT team has been working with me every day and feels I am more than ready to go as well. I'm excited but I am a bit nervous as well. I can walk slowly with a walker, but I still struggle on other daily activities. My awesome parents will be there to help me but my mom is already back at work and she is gonna have her hands full. eventually I will be adding to my calender for more helping hands if anyone has time during these next few months. thank u as always for your encouragement....let the healing begin! Love you guys! Trysh
posted by Trycia Perry, Friday, August 28, 2009, 1:43 PM
hey everyone, I am heading home today to my parents house in san clemente! yay! It took awhile for the pain management team to figure out a pain med combination that would work for me to take home. The PT team has been working with me every day and feels I am more than ready to go as well. I'm excited but I am a bit nervous as well. I can walk slowly with a walker, but I still struggle on other daily activities. My awesome parents will be there to help me but my mom is already back at work and she is gonna have her hands full. eventually I will be adding to my calender for more helping hands if anyone has time during these next few months. thank u as always for your encouragement....let the healing begin! Love you guys! Trysh
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